Dating advice when to have the talk

This is a very good strategy for not getting hurt, because if you start off with no expectations your hopes can’t be crushed.

But having expectations and hopes is good, it means that you care and that what you’re doing is worthwhile.

Straight talk: there are two phrases that a woman can say that will instill ball-shrinking terror in the heart of every man.

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” It’s the dreaded “Defining The Relationship” talk… The DTR talk has achieved an almost mythical level of terror amongst people – especially men, because it almost always comes at the worst possible moment, and suddenly you have to make decisions that will affect you for the rest of your relationship.

For many men, it represents a massive, possibly undesirable, change in the nature of your relationship with this person. As much as it would be nice to have a handy rule of thumb like “three weeks after you start sleeping together” or a concrete date, every relationship is different and, as a result, the timing will be different as well.

So how and when do you bring up “the talk” with a woman you’re seeing?

There’s no need to label what you are before anything physical has happened, unless she specifically brings it up.

You’ve held hands, you’ve smooched, you’ve cuddled, you’ve watched Netflix and chilled, maybe you’ve even met their mom or petted their dog (both important relationship milestones).

It’s even possible that the two of you have made vague futuristic plans to go to a concert or catch a movie that doesn’t come out for months, and yet you’re still living in dating limbo.

Sometimes we start important talks with an attitude of discovery.

We’re not really sure what we’re hoping to get out of it, we just feel like the talk needs to happen.

It’s all very confusing, especially if you’re the type of person who doesn’t like to test boundaries for fear of scaring the other person off.

I get it, having the “defining the relationship” talk is terrifying, you have to be open and honest and vulnerable and ugh I’m sweating just thinking about it.

Between now and the last six months, though, a few things have happened. We've told each other how we feel in terms of liking each other, but nothing has progressed in terms of being in an exclusive relationship.

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