Application dating my daughter pdf

Please read on (there are twenty questions,) leave comments and suggestions if you like, but understand…this application comes from a place of love.Name:__________________________________________________________ Birthday:_____________________________________________ (If born [10 years before she was born,] just go ahead and stop right here Pops, unless you have a credit score of over 800 for all three credit reporting agencies) SSN:___________-___________-_________________ Questions 1.) What is your highest level of education? All we need to do is make sure that you can match your clothes correctly and speak using proper English. Taye Diggs (If you responded (a) or (b) to this question, SLAP YOURSELF IN THE MOUTH!

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does ' ABSTINENCE' mean to you? __________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST RUNNING AS I AM A DAMNED GOOD SHOT.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does ' LATE' mean to you ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________In 50 words or less, what does ' DON' T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and "one-size-fits-all" cement shoes will notify you.

Bruce Cameron Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend? But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi.

I then began to wonder, “How, in our hectic lives, can my [girls] and I keep in contact to ensure that the respective man that any of us are involved with is the correct one? Please understand that I only want my [girls] to be with the best man for them, thus, the application process is highly selective, and several applicants may not get past question three.

But hey, if you want to get with my [girls,] you need to be top quality, so try to do better.

s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

Here is her note in it’s entirety: Upon my discovery of the news, I engaged (no pun intended) in several conversations with my [friends].

We all agreed that this lucky man, upon our introduction to him, will be scrutinized to ridicule and interrogation.

This application was written by Savi Pearl formally known as Ms.

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